Friday, January 16, 2009

Coping with Emotional Distress: Lesson One

What not to do when you've had a horrendous week and you're feeling bitter and alone:
  • Don't make plans with your married friend who you have a serious crush on
  • Don't have dinner with a former colleague who has the job that you deserve
  • Don't write emails to the opposite sex without first consulting someone else of the opposite sex
  • Don't skip lunch or only eat animal crackers
  • Don't watch Pretty Woman, The Notebook or Lars and the Real Girl, etc. and/or listen to Nicole Atkins, REM or the like
  • Don't laugh hysterically instead of cry hysterically
  • Don't cyber-stalk anyone
  • Don't accept a loan, no matter how small, from your boss
  • Don't make and consume a box of macaroni and cheese after 10pm
What to do instead:
  • Host a slumber party for your two favorite people and drink wine from the bottle
Lesson One complete. Please turn the tape over.