Friday, November 6, 2009

Man, I feel like a woman

I was always wondering when this time would come... the time when I finally stopped feeling like a woman-in-training and started to feel like an actual woman. The answer to my question was, apparently, 27 and 3/4 years old.

While, legally, I've been a woman and not a girl since I was 18-ish, I never felt like one. Not in college. Not when I lost my virginity. Not when I moved into my first apartment. Not when I made my first solo grocery shopping trip. It happened just a few months ago on, like, a Wednesday.

When I bought fall clothes this year, I really thought about what I was buying -- what outfits could I piece together. An outfit? Huh? What's that? I thank mostly Rachel for that influence. Step one into feeling like a woman. I've found a style and I'm sticking with it; its urban chic-ish meets comfort meets flattering for curvy girls? In any case, it feels like me. I'm over buying one or two pieces of clothing each season because its trendy, and then letting them sit in my closet because they're not comfortable nor really me. So, style goes in the win column.

I've also started to notice my womanhood in the way that I walk. I've developed a bit of a hip-booty sway, and I stand a bit taller (even at 5'2"). The best part is that it happened naturally, not like when I had a crush on this girl I used to work with and I tried to emulate her walk. That didn't really last.

Thirdly (but not finally), its in my attitude. I feel more confident in my body and in my mind. I have a strong sense of what I like about me and in others. And, more importantly, I'm working on ridding my life of what isn't positive for me, whether that be a friendship, a DVD or a hobby.



Mary said...

I've been feeling very womanly lately. I've been pondering a career change that woul require grad school. An one major factor in this decision has been when I want to have children. And knowing that my husband could go to grad school or change careers without as much worry about when we conceived made me realize that this is a very female quandary on having. And a very grown-up one!

PlaysOneonTV said...

Very female and very grown-up. And I'm right there with you. Every time I think about making a big change, I think about how it will affect my child-bearing.